Karma Knows the Truth

Stirring shit

You better think quick

Before you get bit

And blown away

How sad your life must be

To spend your time causing so much misery

Spinning your lies until the world dissolves to grey

The people that you mess with

Can only take so much

It’ll be worse than a bull rush

When karma comes to your town

The pain and suffering you’ve caused

Will beat down your doors

And you will get what’s coming to do

No matter how much you try to explain

It’ll all be in vain

As karma knows the truth

And then some other stuff happened (Thursday Recap 1)

So I’m connecting – I’m Facebooking, Tweeting, Goodreading and even getting all up in those Google+ Circles (see connect with me page for links to all my social media sites) and as most of you probably know already I recently added YouTube and Instagram to all that *ME* in the and on the World Wide Web.

Yeaaaaah and when was the last time I got to do a decent post on my BLOG Ummmmm Damn You Social Media for taking up all my time!!

I’ve forgotten my point – Damn short attention span.

Oh yeah that’s my POINT!

I spend too much time “connecting” I haven’t written much in months.

But anyways at least i’ve found some sort of direction for my YouTube channel – yeah thats kind of worth it – Each Thursday I’m going to attempt to do a “diary type” 60 second (or there abouts) video recap of my week and on the first Sunday of each month I’m going to record one of my Poems. YAYYYYYY!!!!!

So here is my first Thursday Ramble, it’s rather rough as i just slapped it all together to see if it’s something i could work with in the future 🙂 enjoy :-).

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My First Ever YouTube Video

The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.

With that in mind, I am going to suck it up and just post this video!

Arms Around Me

I want to run and hide
Down deep inside
How happy I would be
You no longer poisoning my mind
Please set my soul free
I’d no longer need to lie
Without your arms around me
But I’m frozen in pain
Shame won’t let me leave
The failure I’ve become
Is unbecoming to me
You no longer by my side
I’d set my soul free
But with you till I die
I told you I would be
So here still I lie
With your arms around me
I feel the need to cry
But the tears won’t leave me
While you wallow in sorrow and self-pity
Why don’t you just leave me?
All the past tears we’ve cried
With your arms around me
I’m trying to figure out why
And if I should leave
But with you till I die
I told you I would be
So here still I lie
With your arms around me

Fed up with myself!

Lately I have felt like bursting into tears for no reason. I am exhausted and racked with anxiety but cannot figure out exactly why.

I hate feeling like this. It just sneaks up from nowhere. I can have been having a couple of really good days or even weeks. I start to think I’m finally get on top of things and then bam I’m knocked over by this darkness that just makes me feel useless.

For the last month, I have had the plan to start a YouTube channel where I would record my Poems and some shorter observation Just A Thought /Random Rants type posts as it’s easier to get someone to watch a short video link then read a link to a FB Note or Blog Post. I would also share the link to the video on my Social Media and Blog for the people who do read me already. So I have attempted to do my first video post multiple times and I’m always finding something wrong and deleting it rather than uploading it.

The sort of things I say to myself in my head as I am watching the videos back: You’re a retard. Fuck you look fat. You sound like an idiot. You stumbled over that word. It sounds shit. What the fuck are you doing? Why the fuck did you do that. You ruined it. God that wok eye is ugly.

Truth is most of the attempts I have deleted because the camera angle gave me a double chin or while I was talking my eye turned out and made me look disgusting.

One of my eyes turns out and I hate it. I delete so many selfies with my son, even though he looks totally cute, because my stupid ugly eye goes off on its own adventure without the rest of me. I’m left eye dominate, so my right eye wanders – but my right eye, that my brain chooses not to use has the better vision LOL good work there Brain!!!

Anyway I totally went off topic didn’t EYE 😛 Really it’s ok, I’m alive and I can see and that is the main thing!!! Nevertheless, when I am down in the dumps all the little things like that really get at me.

Anyway, I am going to attempt to get over this and move on with my plans for the channel, hopefully!

Also for the last couple of weeks, I have been trying to format my second poetry eBooks for publication. I managed to do my first one, but kept stuffing up the second. It shattered me. In the end, I gave in and paid someone to do it for me. I failed and I HATE that. I am so mad at my stupid ass self for not being able to do it. I really think this is what brought on my current funk. I have gotten the formatted files back and have uploaded them and now have two published poetry works, but failing at the formatting has made it a bitter win. I had to give up. I got so upset I almost chucked in the towel completely. I SHOULD have been able to do it.

But I feel I have dealt with the issues / problems I stated above and I still feel at unease. I still feel blue. Down. Low. Unfocused. The Harry Potter marathon and all popcorn in my cupboard hasn’t helped. Snuggles with my Son hasn’t helped. I’m just so fed up with myself.

Cold, rain and depressed laziness has stopped me from going out lately, but I’m determined to go for a walk tomorrow morning rain or not, as I need to get some happy hormones flowing or something.

Thanks for taking the time to listen (or rather read) to me whinge 🙂 it is much appreciated!

Link for my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxbj_XQuDb1VclqWh98g8cg/about

My Latest eBook The World Around Me; is a collection of poems in my randomly raw & unpolished poetry style about the things I See & Feel as I navigate this crazy thing called Life.

So grab a cuppa and take a look into my heart and mind if you dare >>

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/443439

 

Writing Update

I’m currently in the process of finalizing my second poetry eBook ‘The World Around Me’. I’m also in the process of creating a Tree Book that merges my two eBook collections together, but I’m struggling to come up with a name I’m happy with so that makes it a bit hard to go forward with any art work LOL. I will / must have these two books published before July, as In July I’ll be starting studying for a Certificate IV in Work Health and Safety and will be flat out trying to tackle that as fast as possible. Once I’ve got my WH&S certification I intend to focus on my fiction writing. I’ve got a whole world that has been floating around in my head since I was a little girl and I’m determined to get it out (or die trying). I’ve also got a short story and two flash fiction pieces that I really enjoyed writing and I want to see if I can extend them with the possibility of turning them into Novellas.

 

Dandelion’s Play

photo 1 (2)Yesterday I introduced Riley to his first Dandelion

When I first handed it to him to meet it

He quickly tried to eat it

Then crushed it in his hand and watched the fluff float away

Whenever I pass by a dandelion

The little girl inside me starts a crying

And I must pluck that dandelion and play

Make a wish and blow the fluff away

I always wish for the same thing

And my heart always sings as I watch the fluff float away

Next time you see a dandelion make sure you stop and greet it

Pick it up and meet it

Make a wish and watch your worries float away

 photo 2 (1)photo 3 (1)

A dandelion can grow just about anywhere they truly are a remarkable plant. Every part of the dandelion is useful: root, leaves and flower. It can be used for food, medicine and dye for colouring.

The dandelion is the only flower that represents the 3 celestial bodies of the sun, moon and stars. The yellow flower resembles the sun, the puff ball resembles the moon and the dispersing seeds resemble the stars.

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Cover Update

I have updated the cover of my Poetry Collection “My Mind The Menace”, while the first cover I made looked brilliant up close on my computer screen, It really didn’t look that great as a thumbnail, which really is extremely important. So i’ve made a new one and uploaded it, Tell me what you think!

SmashCover2nd

See the difference > > > SmashCover   SmashCover2nd

fancy lineresizeMy Mind The Menace is my publishing debut. Here I have put together a collection of poems from my darker moments to show that no emotion is permanent and moving forward is always possible. I have chosen them because of what they mean to me. I warn you that some of the poems are raw and unrefined.

Do You Dare to Take a Look Into My Mind!!!

$0.99 US @ Smashwords; can be downloaded as a epub, mobi, pdf, rtf, irf, pdb & txt (Now I know what the first three are and use them, but haven’t a clue what the other formats are for LOL)

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/423080

I’ve also now have “My Mind The Menace” on Amazon (Cover Made with KDP).

KindleCover

 

$0.99 US @ Amazon; can be downloaded straight from/ to your Kindle or Kindle app.

http://www.amazon.com.au/My-Mind-The-Menace-Collection-ebook/dp/B00KDU8EZA/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1400296905&sr=1-1

 

What I’ve Read So Far

Here is a recap of the books I’ve managed to read and review so far this year 🙂

Books Read in 2014 =

January:

  1. The Last Olympian (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #5) by Rick Riordan (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-3x )
  2. The Demigod Diaries (The Heroes of Olympus) by Rick Riordan (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-44 )
  3. Tripwire (Jack Reacher #3) by Lee Child (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-4u )
  4. The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus #1) by Rick Riordan (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-50 )
  5. The Visitor (Jack Reacher #4) by Lee Child (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-5U )
  6. The Son of Neptune (The Heroes of Olympus #2) by Rick Riordan (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-66 )
  7. The Son of Sobek (Percy Jackson & Kane Chronicles Crossover #1) by Rick Riordan (My Review http://wp.me/431Gp )

February:

  1. The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus #3) by Rick Riordan (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-6E )
  2. Midnight Sun (Twilight #1.5) by Stephenie Meyer (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-6y )
  3. The Enemy (Jack Reacher #8) by Lee Child (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-6R )
  4. Harry Potter – Three Short Stories by Bruce T Forbes
  5. Take Me To Your Reader: An Otherworld Anthology by Amy A. Bartol, Tammy Blackwell, Amanda Havard, Heather Hildenbrand, Tiffany King, C.A. Kunz, Sarah M. Ross, Raine Thomas (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-7b )
  6. Here Among The Ruins by Regina Puckett (my Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-6K )
  7. Day Trips to Narnia by Bruce T. Forbes
  8. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
  9. Mr. Darcy’s Diary by Amanda Grange (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-7F )

March:

  1. The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus #4) by Rick Riordan (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-7L )
  2. Casting Shadows Everywhere by L.T. Vargus (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-8d )
  3. Salvation by A.M.C. (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-8J )
  4. Smashwords Style Guide by Mark Coker
  5. Delta Force Vampire: Insurgency by Alex Shaw (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-9m )

April:

  1. Lust & Longing: A Collection of Erotic Shorts by Charity Parkerson
  2. Dementional by Tonya Cannariato (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-9z )
  3. Words by Robert Zimmermann
  4. Time Shifters by Shanna Lauffey (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-at )
  5. Vaempires: Revolution By Thomas Winship (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-aN )
  6. Fifty First Times: A New Adult Anthology
  7. Now You Shall Know – Newcastle Poetry Prize 2013 Anthology
  8. Thunderhead by Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-bc )
  9. Speak of the Devil by Shawna Romkey (My Review http://wp.me/p431Gp-bz )