The New Year

IMG_1978

Christmas is over for another year

and as it goes it drains me of all my cheer

Regardless of your religion I hope you got to be with the ones you love

And found solace in whatever you believe is above

We go into the new year with the world in distress

The minority hurting the majority and making a mess

Mother nature is crying but no one hears

Because some bloody mongrels are shouting out bad ideas

Ignore these monsters

We can block them out by standing together

Forgetting our differences

and just loving each other

It is in mankind’s nature to only think of its self

Hence why the earth is disintegrating into hell

plant a tree and get to know your neighbour

recycle as much as you can and never renege on a favour

We’ve all got problems

but this world is in serious decline

I want there to be a happy healthy world in which my children can grow

Not this dark and decaying one that is starting to show

kisses

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and you got be be with the people you love. I was lucky enough to get to be with most of the people I hold dear.

Now I’m going to have some time away from the internet; bar Facebook and Instagram, as I don’t want to give up seeing everybody hanging out taking happy snaps and enjoying time with family :-).

I’ll be back on the 8th of January with a release day sneak peek for a lovely lady and her paranormal detective series. I’ll return to my regular posting schedule on the 17th with my first Bookish Babble of 2016. I’ll see you then.

Today is your birthday

Today is your birthday
And I hope you’re doing well
I contemplate sending you a message
But quickly realise it won’t reach you in your personal hell

Is it you that’s stuck
Or is it me that dwells
In a place of memories
And secrets not to tell

My knight in shining armour
You could never be
A drug to keep you high forever
Well that was never me

Will you always be with me
In that condemned place
Or as time consumes me
Will I forget it and your beautiful face

Today is your birthday
And I truly hope you are doing well
I wish for you a light to show you a path
Out of your personal hell

blue-love-heart-bubble-1280x800

Why Won’t It Do

In this world I have everything

But it just won’t do

Always left wanting more

As desire tries to break down the door

I can be so materialistic at times

That it makes me sick

Actually sometimes it causes me to act like a dick

Always wanting

Only to want more

I get so cranky while waiting to score

I have everything I need

But it’s never enough

My life is filled with cuddles and love

But it always seems that it’s never enough

What on earth else is needed to fill the void?

I thought once my son was born it’d be destroyed

This hidden hungry monster that lives in my brain

Before she excited life was much simpler

And I was happy with plain

How do I satisfy her?

When she’s in a world with everything

But it won’t do

Karma Knows the Truth

Stirring shit

You better think quick

Before you get bit

And blown away

How sad your life must be

To spend your time causing so much misery

Spinning your lies until the world dissolves to grey

The people that you mess with

Can only take so much

It’ll be worse than a bull rush

When karma comes to your town

The pain and suffering you’ve caused

Will beat down your doors

And you will get what’s coming to do

No matter how much you try to explain

It’ll all be in vain

As karma knows the truth

My First Ever YouTube Video

The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.

With that in mind, I am going to suck it up and just post this video!

Arms Around Me

I want to run and hide
Down deep inside
How happy I would be
You no longer poisoning my mind
Please set my soul free
I’d no longer need to lie
Without your arms around me
But I’m frozen in pain
Shame won’t let me leave
The failure I’ve become
Is unbecoming to me
You no longer by my side
I’d set my soul free
But with you till I die
I told you I would be
So here still I lie
With your arms around me
I feel the need to cry
But the tears won’t leave me
While you wallow in sorrow and self-pity
Why don’t you just leave me?
All the past tears we’ve cried
With your arms around me
I’m trying to figure out why
And if I should leave
But with you till I die
I told you I would be
So here still I lie
With your arms around me

Fed up with myself!

Lately I have felt like bursting into tears for no reason. I am exhausted and racked with anxiety but cannot figure out exactly why.

I hate feeling like this. It just sneaks up from nowhere. I can have been having a couple of really good days or even weeks. I start to think I’m finally get on top of things and then bam I’m knocked over by this darkness that just makes me feel useless.

For the last month, I have had the plan to start a YouTube channel where I would record my Poems and some shorter observation Just A Thought /Random Rants type posts as it’s easier to get someone to watch a short video link then read a link to a FB Note or Blog Post. I would also share the link to the video on my Social Media and Blog for the people who do read me already. So I have attempted to do my first video post multiple times and I’m always finding something wrong and deleting it rather than uploading it.

The sort of things I say to myself in my head as I am watching the videos back: You’re a retard. Fuck you look fat. You sound like an idiot. You stumbled over that word. It sounds shit. What the fuck are you doing? Why the fuck did you do that. You ruined it. God that wok eye is ugly.

Truth is most of the attempts I have deleted because the camera angle gave me a double chin or while I was talking my eye turned out and made me look disgusting.

One of my eyes turns out and I hate it. I delete so many selfies with my son, even though he looks totally cute, because my stupid ugly eye goes off on its own adventure without the rest of me. I’m left eye dominate, so my right eye wanders – but my right eye, that my brain chooses not to use has the better vision LOL good work there Brain!!!

Anyway I totally went off topic didn’t EYE 😛 Really it’s ok, I’m alive and I can see and that is the main thing!!! Nevertheless, when I am down in the dumps all the little things like that really get at me.

Anyway, I am going to attempt to get over this and move on with my plans for the channel, hopefully!

Also for the last couple of weeks, I have been trying to format my second poetry eBooks for publication. I managed to do my first one, but kept stuffing up the second. It shattered me. In the end, I gave in and paid someone to do it for me. I failed and I HATE that. I am so mad at my stupid ass self for not being able to do it. I really think this is what brought on my current funk. I have gotten the formatted files back and have uploaded them and now have two published poetry works, but failing at the formatting has made it a bitter win. I had to give up. I got so upset I almost chucked in the towel completely. I SHOULD have been able to do it.

But I feel I have dealt with the issues / problems I stated above and I still feel at unease. I still feel blue. Down. Low. Unfocused. The Harry Potter marathon and all popcorn in my cupboard hasn’t helped. Snuggles with my Son hasn’t helped. I’m just so fed up with myself.

Cold, rain and depressed laziness has stopped me from going out lately, but I’m determined to go for a walk tomorrow morning rain or not, as I need to get some happy hormones flowing or something.

Thanks for taking the time to listen (or rather read) to me whinge 🙂 it is much appreciated!

Link for my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxbj_XQuDb1VclqWh98g8cg/about

My Latest eBook The World Around Me; is a collection of poems in my randomly raw & unpolished poetry style about the things I See & Feel as I navigate this crazy thing called Life.

So grab a cuppa and take a look into my heart and mind if you dare >>

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/443439

 

Dandelion’s Play

photo 1 (2)Yesterday I introduced Riley to his first Dandelion

When I first handed it to him to meet it

He quickly tried to eat it

Then crushed it in his hand and watched the fluff float away

Whenever I pass by a dandelion

The little girl inside me starts a crying

And I must pluck that dandelion and play

Make a wish and blow the fluff away

I always wish for the same thing

And my heart always sings as I watch the fluff float away

Next time you see a dandelion make sure you stop and greet it

Pick it up and meet it

Make a wish and watch your worries float away

 photo 2 (1)photo 3 (1)

A dandelion can grow just about anywhere they truly are a remarkable plant. Every part of the dandelion is useful: root, leaves and flower. It can be used for food, medicine and dye for colouring.

The dandelion is the only flower that represents the 3 celestial bodies of the sun, moon and stars. The yellow flower resembles the sun, the puff ball resembles the moon and the dispersing seeds resemble the stars.

20140521-195008-71408305.jpg

20140521-195009-71409350.jpg

Macavity’s not there

This is a post I wrote for Robert Zimmerman’s Authors We love Series:

Authors We Love: Sarah Fairbairn on T.S. Eliot

TS-Eliot-007As soon as I read or hear the name T.S. Eliot my mind starts singing “Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity, for he’s a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity’’.

Ok so now I’m humming and bopping in my seat – Before we go any further I’m going to chuck some T.S. Eliot Quotes at you:

‘’Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality, but an escape from personality. But, of course, only those who have personality and emotions know what it means to want to escape from these things’’.

‘’Those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go’’.

‘’If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?’’

Now here are some base facts about the man that was: Thomas Stearns Eliot was born on the 26th of September 1888 and died on the 4th of January 1965. Thomas was an essayist, publisher, playwright, literary and social critic and one of the twentieth century’s major poets. He was born in St. Louis, Missouri in the United States but later he moved to the United Kingdom.

What he means to me: I have this little poem book by Thomas called Old Possum’s book of practical cats. Yes it’s a book of poems on cats. Yes CATS. I’ve had this book as long as I can remember, my mother used to read it to be before bed and now I read it to my son. My favourite poem of is – take a guess – YEP Macavity (I even have a musical version I put on and dance and sing around the kitchen to). Now I know he wrote a lot more variety and more meaningful works than Macavity, but it’s what connected be to him as a child. I can remember going to see the musical when I was younger with my parents and grandparents. The Christmas after we all had saw the musical I convinced my mum to buy my grandmother the CATS musical official CD collection and on Christmas day I danced around my grandmothers lounge room as she sang along.

I’m still signing in my head “You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square – but when a crime’s discovered, then Macavity’s not there!’’kittykat

SelfieMe: Sarah Fairbairn. I’m a full time Mum and Wife, a part time accounts admin clerk and a whenever I can blogger and poet. I’ve just published my First Poetry eBook My Mind The Menace and I have a second in progress.

You can connect with me at (I always like meeting and talking to new people):

My Blog: http://sarahalison27.org/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/SarahAlison27

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SarahAlison27

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/SarahAlison27

# # # #

e09570cee56918eba9993dcad39f5a84

Click on this link below to view Robert Zimmerman’s Authors We love Series – it’s well worth taking a look, you’ll find a new favourite author or two:

http://alifeamongthepages.wordpress.com/special-eventsposts/authors-we-love/