Bittersweet

We got the keys to our own real home last Wednesday and last Thursday I made my first trip to Bunnings as a homeowner. I picked up the few shower/plumbing items I needed and then made the mistake of walking past the tantalising display of light fittings and lamps on my way out. I was struggling. There was a beautiful $130 floor lamp I wanted, but did not need. I could not bring myself to walk away from the lamp. I bargained with myself that if I didn’t buy the lamp I could go and get a little plant instead. I managed to talk myself around and only left with the necessaries and a plant, and a pot for the plant and a little bag of potting mix. I’ve been back to Bunnings five times since then and I am now no longer allowed to go to a homemaker centre/ garden centre/ hardware store by myself.

We made the big move on the Saturday and had some wonderful friends and family help us get it all carted out by early afternoon.

Later on Saturday some ‘not funny at the time’ things happened. I was driving Shane’s Landcruiser from our ex-rental to our home, I jumped on the brakes like I would in my Lancer and nearly shit myself as it felt like the 4wd wasn’t going to stop (it did, eventually) – then I was driving Shane’s cousins Landcruiser and it broke down on me. Damn thing. So that then left me to drive the hire truck, ahhhhh, felt like I was driving a bus, but least it had good brakes and didn’t break down.

I lost my Buster boy on Monday. I haven’t told anyone other than my mum and grandmother until now and I’m tearing up as I write this. We had to put him down.

I’m so angry.

He was a fifteen-year-old wolfhound-X and a total sook. He had gotten crook in June and been on medication since. The poor boy was in constant pain. We had no choice, he was suffering. I will never forget him and I hurts that Riley didn’t get to have more time with him. I have cried and cried as a child wanting her best friend back. I’m so angry that there was nothing I could do. I feel I’ve let him down and I do not want to let him go. Buster didn’t even get to see our house.

Ellie our (four-year-old wolfhound-X) has been staying at my mother in-laws since the move, as we have had to put up a fence to keep her and Riley in. I cannot wait to get Ellie back so I can snuggle her endlessly and embrace the love and joy that she radiates. Dogs can bring so much light and love into our lives; it is just not fair that they don’t live as long as us.

So I’ve gotten Riley’s bedroom and bathroom set up, the rest of the House is still full of boxes, but the fence is up and Ellie is coming home tomorrow.

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