To celebrate my Son’s First birthday I am making both of my Poetry eBooks available for FREE on Smashwords until the 27th of July.
The world Around Me:
Romances come and go. But when a man suffers the scorn of a scented seductress, the pain of parting, the ache of a lonely heart, when he’s bursting with shame, humiliation and jealousy, where can he turn? To his best friend, of course: his dog.
‘Luv from Dog’ is a selection of Murray Ball’s 1975 – 1990 Footrot Flats cartoon strips and standalone images all dealing with love and lust. It is a light and humours read that I really enjoyed. You cannot help but fall in love with “Dog” and wish him success in chasing away that She Devil Cheeky Hobson.
Longbourn by Jo Baker Goodreads Synopsis:
• Pride and Prejudice was only half the story •
If Elizabeth Bennet had the washing of her own petticoats, Sarah often thought, she’d most likely be a sight more careful with them.
In this irresistibly imagined below stairs answer to Pride and Prejudice, the servants take center stage. Sarah, the orphaned housemaid, spends her days scrubbing the laundry, polishing the floors, and emptying the chamber pots for the Bennet household. But there is just as much romance, heartbreak, and intrigue downstairs at Longbourn as there is upstairs. When a mysterious new footman arrives, the orderly realm of the servants’ hall threatens to be completely, perhaps irrevocably, upended.
Jo Baker dares to take us beyond the drawing rooms of Jane Austen’s classic—into the often overlooked domain of the stern housekeeper and the starry-eyed kitchen maid, into the gritty daily particulars faced by the lower classes in Regency England during the Napoleonic Wars—and, in doing so, creates a vivid, fascinating, fully realized world that is wholly her own.
I loved the line “If Elizabeth Bennet had the washing of her own petticoats, Sarah often thought, she’d most likely be a sight more careful with them”.
I loved Mrs Hill, Sarah and Polly and Felt for them. The twist concerning James’s parentage did not sit right with me and just felt wrong. However, ignoring that I was able to enjoy the story and Bar Mr Bennet, I was happy with Bakers take on the characters and they felt Austen approvable to me.
I really enjoyed reading the servants take on the Bennet’s and their dramas. I found it interesting, I had never really thought about who washed and cooked and the entire goings on in the background of Pride and Prejudice as I was always too caught up with Mr Darcy.
The love story: Sarah an orphan taken and raised my Mrs Hill as a housemaid at Longbourn and who gets worked ragged and ends up understandably fed up with her life. James comes along and gets himself a job as footmen and that is when things start to get interesting. Like I said before if you ignore the premises of James parentage his back-story as a on the run disgraced solder is fascinating.
Even though Sarah and James end up together and happy, I felt like the ending was not good enough. All the characters get happy-ish endings; I just felt that James and Sarah deserved more. I mean hell if you are going to go all out and say Mr Bennet had a Love child with his housekeeper Mrs Hill at least have him come clean about it in the end, as then James not Mr Collins would inherit the Longbourn estate and Sarah and James could live happily ever after, safe and sound!
I rated it 3 out of 5 stars, because this Mr Bennet was not the Mr Bennet that I know and love.
Mary could feel the tears prickling at the corner of her eyes.
Her once magnificent family home was in ruins.
As she gingerly walked through what was left of the house it was evident by the smell that there had been squatters living there at some stage.
After her father’s bankruptcy years before, Mary had vowed that she would one day get her Family’s heritage back.
After twenty years she now had just managed to reacquire the once grand property.
Mary was determined; that what this place once was with her tender love and care it would be again.
The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.
With that in mind, I am going to suck it up and just post this video!
Arms Around Me
I want to run and hide
Down deep inside
How happy I would be
You no longer poisoning my mind
Please set my soul free
I’d no longer need to lie
Without your arms around me
But I’m frozen in pain
Shame won’t let me leave
The failure I’ve become
Is unbecoming to me
You no longer by my side
I’d set my soul free
But with you till I die
I told you I would be
So here still I lie
With your arms around me
I feel the need to cry
But the tears won’t leave me
While you wallow in sorrow and self-pity
Why don’t you just leave me?
All the past tears we’ve cried
With your arms around me
I’m trying to figure out why
And if I should leave
But with you till I die
I told you I would be
So here still I lie
With your arms around me
I looked out the window of the surgery in which I worked and saw him down by the docks again.
I wondered where his owner was or if he was owned at all.
I walked down and fed him half of my lunch, something I’d been doing for weeks.
This day the shaggy little mess was particularly forlorn, so I decided to take him to the pound.
He was never claimed and he officially became mine.
I cleaned him up and named him Scoda.
He then spent the rest of his days loved, happy, healthy and with his tummy full.
Lately I have felt like bursting into tears for no reason. I am exhausted and racked with anxiety but cannot figure out exactly why.
I hate feeling like this. It just sneaks up from nowhere. I can have been having a couple of really good days or even weeks. I start to think I’m finally get on top of things and then bam I’m knocked over by this darkness that just makes me feel useless.
For the last month, I have had the plan to start a YouTube channel where I would record my Poems and some shorter observation Just A Thought /Random Rants type posts as it’s easier to get someone to watch a short video link then read a link to a FB Note or Blog Post. I would also share the link to the video on my Social Media and Blog for the people who do read me already. So I have attempted to do my first video post multiple times and I’m always finding something wrong and deleting it rather than uploading it.
The sort of things I say to myself in my head as I am watching the videos back: You’re a retard. Fuck you look fat. You sound like an idiot. You stumbled over that word. It sounds shit. What the fuck are you doing? Why the fuck did you do that. You ruined it. God that wok eye is ugly.
Truth is most of the attempts I have deleted because the camera angle gave me a double chin or while I was talking my eye turned out and made me look disgusting.
One of my eyes turns out and I hate it. I delete so many selfies with my son, even though he looks totally cute, because my stupid ugly eye goes off on its own adventure without the rest of me. I’m left eye dominate, so my right eye wanders – but my right eye, that my brain chooses not to use has the better vision LOL good work there Brain!!!
Anyway I totally went off topic didn’t EYE 😛 Really it’s ok, I’m alive and I can see and that is the main thing!!! Nevertheless, when I am down in the dumps all the little things like that really get at me.
Anyway, I am going to attempt to get over this and move on with my plans for the channel, hopefully!
Also for the last couple of weeks, I have been trying to format my second poetry eBooks for publication. I managed to do my first one, but kept stuffing up the second. It shattered me. In the end, I gave in and paid someone to do it for me. I failed and I HATE that. I am so mad at my stupid ass self for not being able to do it. I really think this is what brought on my current funk. I have gotten the formatted files back and have uploaded them and now have two published poetry works, but failing at the formatting has made it a bitter win. I had to give up. I got so upset I almost chucked in the towel completely. I SHOULD have been able to do it.
But I feel I have dealt with the issues / problems I stated above and I still feel at unease. I still feel blue. Down. Low. Unfocused. The Harry Potter marathon and all popcorn in my cupboard hasn’t helped. Snuggles with my Son hasn’t helped. I’m just so fed up with myself.
Cold, rain and depressed laziness has stopped me from going out lately, but I’m determined to go for a walk tomorrow morning rain or not, as I need to get some happy hormones flowing or something.
Thanks for taking the time to listen (or rather read) to me whinge 🙂 it is much appreciated!
Link for my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxbj_XQuDb1VclqWh98g8cg/about
My Latest eBook The World Around Me; is a collection of poems in my randomly raw & unpolished poetry style about the things I See & Feel as I navigate this crazy thing called Life.
So grab a cuppa and take a look into my heart and mind if you dare >>
I have been partaking in the 100 Happy Days challenge, sharing my Happy Days with my Facebook and Twitter friends. I started the challenge back on the 21st of March, so yesterday was my 80th day.
As you’ll see I’ve missed a few this time around. I’ve been feeling rather wishy washy lately and just not having a ”happy day”.
Day62: Yeah today just didn’t happen.
Day66: Today didn’t happen either.
Day70: Yeah today just didn’t happen.
Day71: Hell yeah #100happydays. I had a good day at work, Riley’s birthday presents turned up, Shane Vacuumed and Mopped while I was at work (without being asked) and we’ve having fish for dinner. Life is awesome right this instant. I even managed to write 1250 words, a chapter for Audrey during my lunch break.
Day72: I’m so happy with my formatting work this time around on “the world around me” I’m ashamed at my poor job on “my mind the menace” I am seriously thinking about reformatting the whole thing lol.
Day73: Not a happy today. I spent the day being frustrated and trying to format my ebook, which was going so well yesterday.
Day74: Really not a happy day today, we’ve got our old buster boy in at the vets. Busters had some test done and we’re waiting for results. I took some photos of Riley giving him snuggles this morning in case he doesn’t come home.
Day75: Still No News on Buster.
Day76: Buster’s home, after a $950 vet bill 😦 But at least he’s home!
Day77: Ahh this Thursday feels like a Friday, but at least I’ve got pretty flowers on my desk to look at thanks to a customer (you can tell the kind of week I had when you see that I haven’t changed my calendar since monday, it wasn’t until I took this photo on my lunch break that I realised LOL).
Day79: Yeah back in the blues, Today Didn’t Happen!
Day80: Riley’s asleep. Just made a mess with some paint making a poster for Riley’s first birthday and now I’m gunna sit down eat some popcorn and watch some Harry Potter until Riley wakes up and wants to play again #lifesgood #100happydays.
Here is my post for Day 1 -20 >> http://wp.me/p431Gp-a1
Here is my post for Day 21 -40 >> http://wp.me/p431Gp-be
Here is my post for Days 41 -60 >> http://wp.me/p431Gp-cr
As I look down at my Ugg Boots that are starting to fall apart I am reminded of the ex-girlfriend who bought them for me.
Stacy was her name. She had issues and her life had been full of shame.
In the end we went our separate ways and the Ugg Boots remain my only reminder of what had been.
I hope she’s out there doing fine. Not a day goes by that I don’t pray she’s healthy and happy.
Maybe in the next life I’ll convince her to be my wife and happily ever after we can be.